As the month of May comes to a close, I am finally able to see the end of a very long and difficultl road. Next week I will make the final payment to wipe out a bill that I have been paying off for more than 5 years! It has not been easy, and at times I never thought I would reach this point, but now I realize that I have finally done this!
There is no one to blame but myself for being in this situation. I made some bad decisions and trusted the wrong people along the way. Finally, I have made it through the tough times and I wish that I could accuarately describe what I am feeling, Actually, there is a sense of dread at the prospect of no longer having to pay this bill every month. I think that I worry about the idea that somehow there will be somr last-minute complication that will derail my achievement. I think that the hardest aspect of this time is overcoming that fear. I have kept meticulous records and am ready to challenge these people if they try something. I suppose it is the fargile nature of things that make me so wary.
I am not going to fall into this trap ever again. I will eat air before I allow myself to fall into debt again! This is the hard lesson that I have learned from this experience. I think that too often we are willing to look for other things and people to blame our problems on, but the choice always begins with us. Whether it is trusting the wrong people, or thinking that another purchase on a high-limit card won't really hurt anything, the choice was mine.
The money that currently goes to these payments will go into my Savings account from now on. I have learned to live within a certain level of my own income, and once the payments are gone, I want to continue to live within those boundaries, although there will soon be more reserves in case I truly need them. This experience has taught me about the real difference between a WANT and a NEED. I always go through a range of options before I ever decide to buy anything these days, because in the past, I never worried about it. Now I know better.