24 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 24, 2017 – My “Cat-itude”

    Monday has begun. It promises to be a very busy day for me since I have far too many meetings to wrap around my work on my personal goal for the job. This is the writing task that I mentioned a few days ago in this blog. I am getting close to completing it and should finish before the end of this week and I will be extremely glad to see the end of it. The sad part is that this same writing will carry forward into the next reporting period since I have apparently inherited this role for the future. It makes me wonder if they are reading my blog?
    At any rate, I still take daily inspiration from The Stooges. There are times when I feel like I just want to go back to bed and let the world screw itself up without my help. Hal The Cat often chooses this approach and it seems to work very well for him. This is a very attractive option, but not very practical for me.
    Then there is the Stevie Nicks approach of exploring everything around me, even if I have seen it a million times before. This is the path I choose most often and it gives me a sense of wonder and appreciation for the people, pets, and places that surround me every day.
    And finally, there is the Spartacus approach. This consists of combining Hal The Cat and Stevie Nicks approaches into something entirely unique. Relax, enjoy the world around me, but make the world come to me for me to enjoy it properly without interrupting me any more than absolutely necessary. I am old and wise enough to have earned this privilege.

23 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 23, 2017 – Seeing My Past

    I went to lunch earlier today and almost directly encountered my past. When I got to the fast food restaurant, I found a table for myself and began to eat. Then I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation from a few tables away. It was the type of conversation that is supposed to be held in hushed tones so the sound doesn’t carry, but in this case, either the acoustics or my own keen sense of hearing meant that I was inadvertently listening in.
    There were 2 men, each around my age, conversing at a table at least 3 tables away from me. Within a minute, it was obvious that they were meeting each other in person for the first time. It also sounded as if they had met online, so this was the proverbial “gay first date”. I know the routine well from my own experiences years ago, before I met Hal.
    They were feeling each other out as they spoke. Neither one wanted to give away too much information about themselves, and the conversation constantly floundered. It was inevitable that would drift back to the gay scene around DC, and how both despised it so much because it was so shallow. I understand everything that they were saying to one another, although my own personal experiences happened in places other than DC. The sense of wanting to find someone was palpable in each of them, but they handled it in different ways. One of them was constantly talking, apparently afraid that if he stopped, the other man would vanish. The other man was not attempting to say a word, either from boredom or from fear of interrupting and saying exactly the wrong thing so he would just utter the occasional agreement with the first man as he rambled on and on.
    Because of the layout of the tables, the man who wouldn’t shut up attempted eye contact with me several times. I suspect that he knew that I could hear them without being obvious. At one point, the other man turned around and glanced at me. It was at this point that I gave them both my most disapproving stare and they went back to their own attempt at getting to know each other.
    I found myself thinking about the times I had been in their positions in the past. Wondering if I was ever going to find that special someone, or was I doomed to constant “first dates” that ended up with nothing. There was a part of me that wanted to go to their table and shake them both by the shoulders and scream that they were doing this all wrong. Luckily, that impulse faded quickly. No good ever came from anonymous matchmaking. I did find myself thinking how they might be able to salvage what was obviously not going very well for either of them.
    The first guy needed to shut the hell up and let the other guy talk. He was coming across as desperate and needy and clingy. I would have told him that this is the worst approach to take unless he wanted to be taken advantage of repeatedly. He should have let the other guy talk, and if he wasn’t willing to talk then he should have gotten up and left without looking back.
    The second guy should have taken the initiative to speak up during the conversation. His reluctance to do so gave me the impression that he was bored and not really interested unless he saw the opportunity for a quick fuck. If he had been serious, he would have attempted to get more than a word into the conversation. If I were him I would have been thinking that the first guy was a loser who wanted someone to listen to and that he was hauling around far too much baggage from his past.

    The strongest feeling that I left the restaurant with was a relief. I have not had to play those games for nearly 18 years and I am thankful each day for that. I hope that both men find what they are looking for, once they take the time to really figure out what that is.

22 July 2017

Dreamer's World July 22 2017 - The Quiet Has Returned

IMG_20170722_091212.jpg
Saturday morning is here at last. I slept last night, but it wasn’t the deep, restful sleep that I craved. Instead, my dreams were vivid and yet I cannot remember much about them once I woke up. I made sure that Hal got off to work on time this morning and now I have the place to myself, well with The Stooges at any rate.
After a morning filled with wonderful nothingness, I ventured out for a quick lunch and then came immediately back home to bask in the quiet once again. Sadly, the Chromebook battery is almost dead so I will let it charge up for awhile before continuing this post. I feel like there is more to write about, even if it is somewhat boring to some readers.
The afternoon has passed by without incident. It has rained and that has finally cooled things down, at least for awhile. I personally won’t mind more rain to help cleanse the air, but I am thankful for what we got so far. I suppose that Hal is still about an hour or so from getting home from work, and I hope that he doesn’t have to drive through any storms to get here. I don't know that we will be doing anything after he gets home and I won’t worry about it right now. I am still enjoying the quiet time as long as I possibly can.

There are a few things that I would like to do this late afternoon or early evening, but the main thing is to be here with Hal once he is home from work. The things I have thought about doing can be accomplished tomorrow while he is at work just as easily as they can this evening.

Dreamer's World July 21 2017 - Different Types Of Writing Affect Me In DIfferent Ways

IMG_20170721_073117.jpg
I am done with my project for work, at least for this week. Initially, I thought that it would be something that I would find enjoyment in, since it involves a lot of writing. To my disappointment the task is heavy on structured format and short on real personal input. I have come to dread the time that I set aside each day at work to dive into this project, and that dread has had an affect on my personal writing as well. There have been days when the last thing I wanted to do was to write in this blog. That has been a terrible feeling for me, words cannot adequately describe it. Only someone who loves to write will understand what I am trying to say without my having to try anymore to elaborate.
When I began this blog several years ago, I told myself that I never considered myself a professional writer. I love to tell about how things are going in my life. I love to write about Hal and The Stooges because they mean so much to me. I will post articles that I find interesting on this site in the hope that others will find them interesting as well. I never thought of myself as a professional writer in any way at all.
Perhaps it was my own vanity that made me take on the assignment that I have come to dread. Perhaps I thought that through daily edits and endless quality-control meetings that somehow I would emerge as a better writer, but I don't feel that has happened. I am not disappointed by this lack of enthusiasm about the task, it is what it is. What really struck at the core of my being was how it affected my personal writing. That pain will take time to fade away.
I cherish the responses that I get to this blog. It means the world to me when someone finds some enjoyment out of what I have written down, sometimes far too hastily. People who love to write are fundamentally different that writers who do this for a living. I admire them and wonder how they manage to not go insane at times. The pressure of writing on a deadline isn’t something that I enjoyed.
I know that I still have learned something valuable from this experience. I know that I now have the knowledge to write on the technically professional level, I just don't enjoy it. Deadlines are simply evil to me, especially when they reach into something I love as much as writing.
I retreat into the more freeform style of Google Docs as often as I can to escape the tyranny of Word. I find myself more at ease without the software trying to do everything possible to stifle my expression.

Am I crazy? Or are there others out there who read this and feel the same way?

21 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 21, 2017 – Finishing Up This Week

    This week of work is nearly behind me. I am looking forward to the weekend at last, and a chance to relax and get some things done around here that have been put off as I toiled on the project as the deadline approached. I still will finish early, but I am really tired of writing for a technical audience and want to let my mind run free once again. I am feeling great after a visit to the chiropractor and acupuncturist last night, although I could have used a bit more sleep. I was guilty of staying up later than I should in order to read.

    Perhaps Hal and I will make what we hope will be our final trip to the local thrift store with items that we want to donate after I am finished with work. This will help us to clear up the apartment even more than it already is, and make the place a more comfortable home. I know that this has been the most successful moving purge that we have ever had. All of the old clothing items are being doated to help those in need because that is the human thing to do.

Dreamer's World July 21 2017 - Another GIfted Artist Dies Tragically

Yesterday, we lost another brilliant musician and artist to personal demons. Chester Bennington of Linkin Park committed suicide yesterday. He was only 41 years old and left behind 6 children. I find it hard to understand why someone would do such a thing, but then I have never suffered from depression, nor have I faced the struggles associated with fame and fortune.
The important thing is that if Chester had not been a famous person, we would never had heard about this tragedy, but the impacts on his family and friends would have been just as devastating to them. We always try to find reasons for suicide that relate to some type of defect with the person when we should be looking more at the deeper issue of depression and how it can literally destroy someone’s life. We often wonder why someone like Chester would feel so desperate and are more than willing to blame drugs or alcohol and that somehow absolves society of the issue that depression actually does exist and that is really does destroy lives on a daily basis.
I don't know for sure if there were drugs or alcohol involved, but that isn’t really the point. Drugs and alcohol are means for people who suffer from depression to attempt to self-medicate because of the stigma that admitting to suffering from depression would place upon them.
People like Robin Williams, Chris Cornell, and now Chester would seem to have everything that one could possibly want. That sentiment is the first sign of the problem. When we believe that success equals happiness we have instantly ignored the condition of depression. When we see or hear of someone having a problem with drugs or alcohol, we morally judge them and then walk away instead of trying to find out why they feel that they need those things to cope with their own lives.
The real tragedy is that we will hear from Chester’s friends and family and then the “experts” will put together all of the warning signs that led to this awful event. Why don't we focus more on looking for those “warning signs” in everyday life so something can be done to help that person before it becomes a tragedy?
Opening up to someone about inner demons is never easy. People feel that an admission of such things will cause rejection and ostracism and they are often right. The problem with suicides caused by depression is that everyone is responsible, not just the victim. Any opportunity for human interaction on a deep personal and friendship level that is missed is just a step towards the ultimate destination. We need to care more about each other as people, and quit caring about what a person does, or what they have accomplished. We need to quit believing that “success” is the panacea for all problems. We need to love one another as brothers and sisters.

20 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 20, 2017 – The New Doctor Who

    I have been a fan of the BBC television science fiction series “Doctor Who” for 40 years. Living in America, that is quite a statement because I can remember hearing about the show through friends who were interested in science fiction. Several friends from places like Chicago told me about this great show that was available on their local PBS station. I lived too far away to see the program, but their descriptions fascinated me. An alien who traveled through time and space in a phone booth. I quickly learned that it was a police box, something that Americans never really had as a part of our daily lives.
    I was fascinated by the idea that the character could be portrayed by different actors through the years. It was a brilliant idea to keep the series alive when the stars grew ill, or wanted to pursue other acting opportunities. It added an infinite level of possibilities to the concept that the program was built around. I doubt that American TV would ever have come up with such an idea because American TV was built on stars and their followings more than on continuous storylines that spanned multiple seasons and were less dependent on an individual to carry the program.
    It was not until the mid-1980s that I saw the program for the first time. I was not disappointed. The special effects were cheesy, but that it because the BBC operated on a budget that American TV was unfamiliar with. I thought that the brilliant part was the stories that carried the program. It didn’t need special effects to make it interesting to me. Access to the show was still spotty at best because American PBS stations operate independently of one another, and when Doctor Who was available in one city, there was no guarantee that it would be available in other cities with different PBS stations. Now, I thought that PBS made a huge mistake in not making Doctor Who available nationwide as they did with a handful of other BBC programs such as Masterpiece Theater, or Mystery.
    I was sad when the show was canceled unexpectedly in the early 1990s. It seemed that it was gone and would never return. Being in the States meant that it wasn’t perceived as important at all, as opposed to what the people in Britain must have felt. I remember the 1996 movie with Paul McGann playing the lead and hoped that it would lead to a revival of the series. I was somewhat surprised that the BBC didn’t begin with a new series at that time. Once again Doctor Who faded away until 2005.
    The new series was fabulous and it has been on ever since. We have gone through Christopher Eccelston, David Tennant, Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi. When Capaldi announced that he was stepping down, the search for a new Doctor began. I was totally surprised when Jodie Whittaker was announced as the new Doctor. I have never seen her act, but I am really looking forward to it.
    Immediately, the trolls began to attack the choice of a woman playing the part of the Doctor. For the life of me, I cannot understand the uproar. I look forward to the new Doctor and her adventures. Her gender isn’t an issue to me at all. The armchair comedians have tried to use this new Doctor as an excuse to try out their dated and tired sexist jokes, I understand that because it is only human nature. The thing that was the most annoying to me was that apparently a British newspaper has released photos of Whittaker that would never have been released if she were a man. The double standard for women still exists. Apparently, Jodie Whittaker must be both a sex symbol and an actress. The release of the photos also shows that the objectification of women is still a major problem that we need to address.

    The double standard is that a woman is supposed to allow herself to be exploited to a degree to succeed in ways that male actors are not. Leave her alone and enjoy her portrayal of the Doctor!

Dreamer’s World July 20, 2017 – RWNJ and Karma

    Although I am passionate about politics, I am not so hardcore that I would wish harm or misfortune upon people with whom I disagree. I can observe things that happen and comment upon them, but never on a personal level. I find myself thinking about 2 republiKKKan legislators who have been supporters of the RWNJ effort to take healthcare away from millions of Americans to be a tragic commentary on what is happening in this country. Their examples represent Karma at her best.
    Representative Steve Scalise was wounded in a senseless terrorist attack earlier this summer and his recovery has been sporadic due to the nature of his injuries. When this tragedy occurred, I wished him a speedy and full recovery through social media because even though we disagree on issues, he is still a human being worthy of dignity and respect. To willingly wish harm upon someone else is not the way that I can live. It goes against everything that I believe in. Representative Scalise is still in recovery, and I continue to wish him a speedy and complete recovery.
    Yesterday, we all found out that Senator John McCain was suffering from brain cancer. Again, I was saddened that this disease had claimed yet another victim. I also wish Senator McCain a full and complete recovery. He was diagnosed after a surgical procedure to deal with a problem near his eye, and the cancer was discovered after the removed tissue was submitted for a biopsy.
    What these 2 people have in common is that they both are supporters of the effort to repeal the attempts that have been made to provide heal care to all Americans based on their RWNJ ideology. To them, the government has no business in supporting any type of publicly funded healthcare because of their own political beliefs. I can respect their belief more if these 2 gentlemen were not being treated for their own ailments by the same type of publicly funded healthcare that they receive based on being elected representatives.
    Neither the Scalise nor the McCain families must face the crushing debt that these medical tragedies would place on other American families, yet these 2 people want to deny the rest of the population the very healthcare that they themselves are receiving. It must be asked that at what point doses the hypocrisy of these people need to be brought to everyone’s attention?
    Karma will get you. Representative Scalise is totally aligned with RWNJ efforts to prevent any attempt at common sense gun control. Representative Scalise is suffering through the aftermath of an attack by a deranged individual terrorist who used a gun to injure him. I have not heard of any statements made by Scalise on his gun control position since his shooting, but at least he and his family are covered by the same type of healthcare that he adamantly opposes for the rest of the population.
    Senator McCain also has received a visit from Karma. The cancer that he is suffering from was detected after a medical procedure that was performed under the same publicly funded healthcare that he opposes for the rest of the population. The procedure was one of the benefits that his publicly funded healthcare provides, but he does not want that level of coverage for the rest of the population.
    The fact that both Representative Scalise and Senator McCain support efforts to repeal Obamacare, yet also preserve their own benefits reeks of selfishness, pure and simple. This is totally in line with RWNJ ideology that presumes that they are privileged and not subject to the laws that they willingly enact over the rest of us.

    To be perfectly clear, I do not want either Representative Scalise nor Senator McCain to have their healthcare taken away. I do think that the same level of healthcare should be made available to ALL AMERICANS. Perhaps Karma is trying to teach us all a lesson.

19 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 19, 2017 – Making Each Day Count

As I enter Wednesday afternoon, I am glad that the week is now halfway over with. I have been busy for the last few weeks and haven’t had the time and interest simultaneously to write in this blog. Sure, I have posted articles that were of interest to me, but I have felt the nagging pain that occurs when I don’t write daily. I am hoping that today is the start to breaking that trend. I am going to get out of here with Hal as soon as possible this afternoon and we are going to spend time together for a change.
    My initial idea is to go to dinner at one of the fabulous Indian restaurants in the area. I am hoping that Hal will agree to this, but he isn’t quite as fond of Indian food as I am. I won’t push Hal on this, if he doesn’t want to go there, we will find somewhere else. After all the time that I have been working on my project, I deserve a break and a chance to enjoy life again with the person that I love more than anything. I want and need to take this course of action because each day is tremendously special and I don’t want to waste any more of them. We have been together for 17 ½ years and the magic is still with us and I never want to lose it.

    My preoccupation with work will have to be repressed, even though it is fascinating to me and I still love my job. I simply want to re-prioritize my life and make it better for all involved. Life is short when we think of the things that we want to do, should have done, or could have done better. There is no reason to not live each day fully possible, and that is what I will try to do from now on.

18 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 17, 2017 – Forcing Myself Forward

As the middle of Monday morning arrives, I am actually feeling rather cold. The A/C is turned off and I just opened the bedroom window as wide as possible in order to try to warm myself up. I am almost never cold, especially in the summer so I will really be monitoring how I feel for the rest of the day. I have to take Hal to and from work this evening so I really cant just go to bed early. I won’t be able to get to bed until around 2300 this evening.
    The afternoon has arrived and I finally closed the window and will let the A/C kick in. I had a decent lunch and now I am caught in the afternoon cycle of meetings until I take Hal to work. I have to admit that these meeting are not helping me feel any better. Listening to other people argue with one another for an hour just makes me sleepy.
    Luckily for me, Hal The Cat is here to keep me company



17 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 17, 2017 – The New Doctor

I had been wondering about the person who would be the next Doctor Who when the Xmas special episode airs at the end of this year. Yesterday, along with everyone else, I found out the answer. Jodie Whittaker will become the Doctor and I wish her the very best.
Obviously, she will be the first female Doctor in the history of the show. I found it interesting that she and the BBC had to issue a statement like this in 2017, but apparently there are still a lot of repressed and small-minded people out there who cannot accept change. A show with a 50+ year history about an alien species main character should never have to go to this level of explanation other than to silence the primitive critics who shout out their middle-aged displeasure from their parents’ basements as they type away under the light of a single bulb and imagine that they are somehow important to the world at large.
    Personally, I am sad to see Peter Capaldi leave the show, but I agree with his decision to do so. I believe that his talent was wasted by poor storylines and too much emphasis placed on supporting characters, especially in his first 2 seasons. He always shone through the muck, and occasionally he was able to really demonstrate what his character could do when the scripts allowed for it. For Jodie Whittaker, I wish her the best and I also hope that the writers responsible for the subpar storylines of the last 3 years are finally freed up to go somewhere else to write, never to be seen in the Whoniverse again.
    This is one of those posts that I wanted to write to get myself back into the routine again this week. No time like the present.

Dreamer’s World July 17 2017 – Still Exhausted

Monday has arrived and I am still completely exhausted. I don’t feel sick at all, but I just cannot find any energy. This started last week and continued through the weekend. As I go back to work this morning, I just know that I still am not at 100%. I have been depressed about not writing anything worth posting for nearly a week. Whenever I cannot write up to my poor standards, it makes me upset and I am sure that it has contributed in some small way to how I feel now. I did manage a good weekend, with the exhaustion included. I cannot afford to look ahead from here to the next weekend because it is too far away and I will surely feel even more tired if I think too much about that.

10 July 2017

Dreamer's World July 9 2017 - Cameras and I

      Sometimes I surprise myself.

I actually made a picture of myself that I like. Since cameras hate me, this came as a complete surprise to me.

08 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 7, 2017 – Stevie Nicks

    Today I will write about the last of The Stooges, Stevie Nicks. She is the diva of the house and she knows it
    Stevie Nicks came to live with us in 2011. We had just moved to Virginia and my old cat, named U.K. had just passed away at the age of 19. I was heartbroken to say the least. We already had Spartacus and his brother Maxwell at the time, but Hal (person) and I have always felt that 3 is the perfect number of cats because they will always find ways to occupy each other rather than get moody and depressed. We adopted Stevie Nicks from the local shelter, but we were never quite sure of her background since she was approximately 2 years old. We believe that she had lived at least part of her life on the street, which is a shame for any cat, let alone one as beautiful as she is. I believe that someone had adopted her and then had to place her up for adoption again due to a move.
    At any rate, I was the one who visited with Stevie Nicks in the room at the shelter and she instantly won my heart. She walked around the room and then decided that my lap was a great place to sit and see everything. I knew then that she was the cat that I wanted. Her name had already been given to her by the shelter staff, and it fits her perfectly to this day.
    Stevie Nicks became the Alpha when she arrived because Spartacus and Maxwell had always accepted UK as their leader in the past. Within a week, they were all best of friends and she and Spartacus remain very close to this day. When Hal The Cat arrived in 2015, there was friction with her because Hal The Cat was another Alpha, and a male as well. Their adjustment period to each other lasted about a month and they will still have some encounters with each other, but now those tend to be playful rather than aggressive.
    Stevie Nicks remains my little girl. She is healthy and happy, and we hope that she will be with us for many more years to come.

Dreamer’s World July 7. 2017 – Closing Out A Short Week

    Weeks with a holiday are often the ones that I dislike the most. Not the holiday part, but the resulting feeling that things are out of sync for the rest of the week and this carries over throughout these short weeks. I am struggling to close out this workday and then relax and try to enjoy the weekend as much as possible. Over the last few hours, I have felt exhaustion creeping over me and I am fighting it off as the afternoon meetings roll on.
    Honestly, I think that I need a vacation soon. I am hoping to hold out until Labor Day if at all possible, but I am at the point where I will play things by ear between now and then. I don’t want a vacation that involves travel, I just want one that allows me to take time and rest and recharge my batteries. At times I have thought about making trips when I take time away from work, but I just don’t feel the desire to do so right now.
    When I finish with work today, Hal and I will run a few errands and then get home by early evening. I will try to get some sleep tonight and then start the weekend on an energized note. I will try to set some tasks for myself that don’t involve money or too much effort for the weekend and then hope for the best. I want to practice my guitar this weekend to help relax myself.

07 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 6, 2017 – Spartacus The Cat


    I recently wrote about Hal The Cat, the youngest of the Stooges. I was trying to think about another topic for today when Spartacus decided that it was time to sit in my lap and go to sleep. I didn’t want to disturb him while he was there so I didn’t want to move around to grab my phone to take a picture. Once Spartacus woke up, he wandered onto the bed and had another nap. I did manage to catch him as he woke up
    Spartacus is a handsome and distinguished cat of 15 years. He isn’t as active as he used to be unless there is a can of food being opened. The amazing part is that he eats like a horse and never gains any weight. He is in good health for a senior citizen, and he remains affectionate and calm. Spartacus is Hal’s baby, he spends most of his time with Hal (person) while I am working, and he is almost always on Hal’s lap. That is the reason I treasure the moments when Spartacus wants to spend time with me.
    Unlike Hal The Cat and Stevie Nicks, Spartacus was a tiny kitten when he arrived home with us. Spartacus has never lived a day on the streets, and his nature reflects that. Spartacus is trusting and friendly to everyone, although he does tend to wait more for people to come and admire him as he has gotten older. Because he has never been threatened, his nature is wonderful around people. This carries over to his relations with Hal The Cat and Stevie Nicks. He seldom argues with them, he knows that he is the senior cat around here and that his needs will be attended to. The lack of struggle has not made him spoiled.
    We adopted Spartacus and his brother Maxwell (2002-2015) at the same time. I was the one who named Spartacus because he was the runt of the litter and I was reminded of mu own Mom who was the youngest child of many and ended up orphaned. Spartacus struck me as a little fighter because he wasn’t afraid of anything. That was the trait that allowed him to survive.

    Hal (person) and myself are extremely fortunate to have Spartacus with us. He enriches our lives each day. We all know that we are loved whenever Spartacus looks at us.

Dreamer’s World July 6, 2017 – Slowing Things Down

    When another day starts out rainy and blah, it affects my mood as I begin work. It is only natural that the weather has some impact on how I feel. Time seems to slow down on days like this, and it made me think about this week in general. With the holiday on Tuesday, and my taking Monday off like so many other people, this week at work is only 3 days long. Sadly, too many people try to pretend that they are now faced with the dilemma of cramming 5 days of work into only 3 days. This is a trait that I cannot agree with, we have holidays and days off for a reason and that is to prevent burnout.
    It is at times like this that I find myself deliberately going into “slow” mode. I don’t mean that I am not working, I just try to get to the important things first and place a much lower priority on everything else. This helps to maintain my sanity and my enthusiasm for the job. Too often, I find myself dealing with the people who cannot, or will not, accept this. I am grateful to work from home so I can deal with them remotely. 11 years have taught them that I work best with my own approach to things, and that pressuring for no real reason generally gets no real change in results. Obviously, I can do this only because I have the full confidence of those I work with. Sometimes, I think that they just go through the motions of attempting to apply pressure so they can see that it is OK to say, “Slow down” after they talk with me. I probably should get a charge code as an amateur psychologist for this reason.

    It really helps that I have never been a Type A personality. While I would much rather everyone else slow things down without my help, I suppose that I fulfill a necessary role for them by encouraging them to do the same. I can live with the responsibility of helping them to calm down.

06 July 2017

Dreamer's World July 5 2017 - Lighting

IMG_20170705_101437.jpg
I have read about how important it is to have a proper place in which to write. One of the most crucial aspects of a writing place is the lighting that one will use. I finally broke down and purchased an LED desk lamp through Amazon and here it is:
IMG_20170705_102601.jpg
On a rainy and overcast day like today, it  is making a huge difference in the atmosphere at the desk. I finally threw out an ancient IKEA desk lamp that simply was not generating enough light to make things comfortable, and I am glad that I did. Since I love to write, there is no point writing in an environment that is not pleasant to be in.
It got me to thinking about how much things have changed since the move in April. I now have a lot more space here in the room and I can tell how my mood has improved since then. Before this, I was crammed into an insufferably small space that offered little comfort. Taking care of those issues made a big difference, the last little touch was the new desk lamp.

Comfort is something that is important in our daily lives. Even if we cannot always be in a comfortable spot, we need one that we can retreat to when the need arises. It is an investment in our sanity.

Dreamer's World July 5 2017 - Useless Information

IMG_20170705_101437.jpg
One of the benefits of living in the Digital Age is the ease with which we can access information and news. The downside is that we need to improve our ability to filter through all of the useless information to find out what is really going on. Too much useless information is worse than not enough valid information, and this has become a tool of RWNJ lunatics and the NAZI in the White House.

Every time Der RumpenFuhrer screams about “fake news” I know that this is the start signal for all of the little Trumpbots hiding in the vast wastelands of the internet to begin throwing out tons of useless BULLSHIT in order to cloud the waters and obscure the truth about what is really going on.

04 July 2017

Dreamer's World July 4 2017 - Hal The Black Cat

IMG_20170704_092539.jpg

Hal The Cat has been with us for over 2 years now. He has grown into a beautiful cat, strong and handsome. Hal The Cat is also a Black Cat, and as I was sitting with him on the couch I wondered about what his life had been like before we adopted him.
IMG_20170704_173028.jpg

We do know that he had lived on the street for the first 2 years or so of his life. He was skittish and very wary of us as well as of his new siblings, Spartacus and Stevie Nicks. It took Hal The Cat a long time to finally adjust to life in his new home. In fact, it wasn’t until after we all moved to the new place this Spring that we really saw him begin to calm down tremendously, as if he felt that being in a new place finally put him on an even level with his siblings.
IMG_20170704_173109.jpg
Both Hal (person) and I are convinced that Hal The Cat had a rough life on the streets. It isn’t a stretch to see the mental images of him being tormented by kids because of the color of his coat. The old stereotypes about bad luck and evil will make apparently sensible people do insanely stupid things. Hal The Cat has almost never heard our voices raised in anger to him. He has never seen us raise our hands as if to strike him, even when he gets into places that he shouldn’t be. We realize that all of the time caring for him and showing him love would be wasted if we ever lost our temper with him or treated him badly. This doesn’t mean that we give him the run of the house, at least not more than any cat actually runs the place where he/she lives. Hal The Cat knows that wherever we are, that is his home.
IMG_20170704_173151.jpg
Even when he looks fierce, he is now happy. In this picture, he is actually just yawning after sleeping on the couch. I think that he looks wonderful, and I would not trade him for anything in the world because he depends on us and shows affection so much more than when we first adopted him.

When I tell people this story, they all remark about how lucky Hal The Cat is. I correct them and tell them that is we who are lucky to have him with us.

Dreamer's World July 4 2017 - Learning To Love Myself

    As Independence Day slowly passes here, the writing urge has struck me yet again. The topic is about the Love and Value we give ourselves.

    For many years I was guilty of taking the blame for everything that went wrong with my life, and never giving myself credit when something good happened to me. I know that a large part of these wrong feelings was my own fault. I was raised to take responsibility for my actions. However, I neglected to really examine my life and my choices very closely once I accepted the blame for something and then moved on.

Dreamer's World July 4 2017 - Freedom And The Price We Pay


Freedom is something that is on everyone’s minds here today. The day itself is the holiday marking our independence from England over 225 years ago. Sadly, it comes at a time when we have placed a NAZI on the White House who seems hell-bent on destroying everything that we have worked towards in this nation.
Let me start by saying that America has never been perfect. Our history is littered with mistakes. What makes this nation special is that we have eventually recognized our mistakes and tried to correct them with the benefit of hindsight. It has been the characteristic that made us somehow different from other nations. We were able to move forwards without violent revolutions, but now I sense that period in our history might be nearing an end.
The NAZI in the White House has dig up old resentments that were smoldering under the surface. He has stoked the fires of hatred to levels we have not seen in my lifetime, and yet he keeps pouring gasoline onto this fire like a deranged pyromaniac child without any adult around to stop him. He continues to divide this nation and to deliberately ostracize people from full participation in our society. This is the mark of FASCISM, plain and simple. He wants people to be afraid of anyone who does not confirm 100% of the time to his NAZI ideology. Those who he rejects become “enemies” that must be fought mercilessly.

Call me old-fashioned, but the concept of Mercy was always close to the character that we strived to achieve and to maintain in spite of the wrongs we had committed. To blatantly throw the concept out is just another example of the NAZI ideology at work in America now.

03 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 3, 2017 - Comfort

    I suppose that comfort is a thing to write about. It means so many different things to people. For me personally, it means having peace of mind about my life and not stressing about things that I cannot control. Sure, there are physical comfort things, but I find that those are more easily dealt with once my mind is at ease about things. I believe that greed is the greatest cause for lack of comfort in our lives. Unfortunately, greed is a monster that will devour you if you allow it to take control over your life.
    I don’t think that anyone has ever achieved comfort through the pursuit of material possessions. I suppose that there are those who will claim to have comfort from all the things that they have accumulated throughout a lifetime, but I wonder at what price they managed that. I find that constantly pursuing something to make me more comfortable ends up with me feeling even less comfortable than I was before. The chase is exhausting, and I don’t believe it is worth the effort. I speak from experience, I used to move heaven and earth to stay up to date with the latest tech fads. I was never guilty of the same pursuit regarding fashion or entertainment, I suppose that taught me the discipline to gradually wean me away from the tech toys issue. I am convinced that there is psychology at work with the entire definition of comfort as it relates to material possessions.
    I love my life now. I would not trade it for anything because I am comfortable at last. The insane burning desire to accumulate is finally in the past. I take more pleasure in everyday things now, and I allow them to bring me comfort. I take comfort from life and it helps me to enjoy my life even more. I don’t claim that my life is perfect, that would be impossible. I mean that I am at the point where comfort comes from within. This is the lesson that took me many years to learn and I still don’t claim to have mastered it completely, but I know that I am on my way.

    Comfort is wonderful is you don’t try to define it strictly in terms of things. Let life happen and remember to enjoy every minute that you can, and comfort will find you if you are wise enough to let it into your life at last.

02 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 2, 2017 - Solitude

    There is an old saying that “character is what you do when there is no one else around”, and I find that to be more and more true as I grow older. Due to the schedules that Hal and I have, weekends are times of solitude for me. Every Saturday and Sunday, Hal works during the day and comes home tired. This means that we never venture into town and that we rarely socialize on the weekends. Personally, it means that I have hours alone on the weekends. It is how I deal with these times that defines me to a great degree.
    When I was younger, I lived for the weekend. I would stay out late and have all the fun that I could. Because I was single, I had no obligations to anyone else about how I spent my time. I cannot always say that I made the wisest decisions back then, but it was a learning experience that I was not aware of at the time. There are regrets simply because in hindsight we can always find things that we either wish we wouldn’t have done, or things that we wish we would have done instead. Now, I take those lessons and learn from them.
    I am going to take time today and cook. I love to cook because it gives me a sense of creativity and I enjoy it. I spend the weekends with The Stooges, and I know that I am better off doing so because both Hal and I are responsible for them, we love them, and each moment we spend with them is a treasure even if they sleep most of the day.
    I enjoy listening to music of all types, except C&W, while I have this time to myself. I read as much as I can to keep my brain engaged. I will make a trip for necessities, but I am usually here. The time alone is actually good for me in many ways. I believe that it makes me and Hal closer because we have to make the effort to remain connected when we are together after these times apart. Even a holiday weekend doesn’t change the routine, and this might be considered a downer, but when I balance it against the time that we do have together, it is a small sacrifice to make. I realize that if I were to hold onto the grudge that we don’t have the weekends together that it would poison our relationship, and I don’t want that.
    Solitude is best when it is not constant, like all things. Having it on a schedule makes it a time that is beneficial rather than yearning for it and not finding it. Solitude is the time when we look inwards and begin to understand ourselves better.

    Hal came home from work to find dinner waiting for him. After an hour or so discussing the day, he has gone to take a nap. Life goes on and so does the solitude. Knowing how to deal with it is a sign of maturity.

01 July 2017

Dreamer’s World July 1, 2017 – Chasing Time And Never Catching It

    Time is a strange thing. We all know that there is only so much time that we will be alive, and yet we always seem to manage to find only the ways to not be happy with the time that we have. We set goals for ourselves, many based on time. We spend the intervening time rushing to achieve that goal while precious time slips through our fingers. We always talk about being happy at some point in our lives, but have you ever noticed that it is almost always in the past or it will be in the future? We seem incapable of finding and holding on to happiness unless we truly choose to be happy.