18 September 2017

Dreamer’s World September 18, 2017 – Rainy Monday

    Another Monday is here. It seems appropriate that it is rainy and overcast because that suits my mood this morning. I did get to bed early last night, and I probably got at least 8 hours of rest, but I still feel tired today. I also feel disappointed that another weekend has vanished without anything exciting happening.
    I did maintain my TV news boycott as well as not watching any NFL football this weekend. I will be skipping the Monday Night Football game as well. With the treatment of Colin Kaepernick and the total lack of regards for the fans as shown by the league relocating three teams, I feel no loyalty towards them at all.
    I did watch college football on Saturday, but I am not sure how much longer I will keep doing that. The passion has vanished for me, and I don’t understand why. Until recently I was a sports fanatic, but now I find myself caring less and less.
    The job continues to grow. I have additional tasking that I am now responsible for each week. I know that this is a good thing because it proves my value to the company, but I also find myself feeling empty at times about everything. It’s almost like I prefer to feel blue right now. I have to gather enough motivation to get me through today and this evening since I have to take Hal to and from his job after I finish my job this afternoon. I feel like the routine curses me with no means of escape.

    The afternoon has arrived. I have made some tremendous progress on my new tasking, but the feeling of emptiness still lingers. The sun has come out, but I still feel like it is raining. Perhaps this is just one of those times when I need to surrender to the blues and let things sort themselves out. I feel like I am in a boat without any oars, the best thing to do is just to let the currents take me where they will.

12 September 2017

Dreamer’s World September 11, 2017 – Sensory Overload

    I think that I have found one of the reasons I have been so damned tired recently. The constant shitstorm that passes for the world around us managed to creep into my own little private Idaho. Despite my best efforts, the outside world managed to find the cracks in the walls that I had built, and like water corrupting a dam, my walls began to suffer.
    There is nothing that I learned from these intrusions that I didn’t already know. The NAZI is still in the White House, people are still incredibly stupid and seem to be determined to become even stupider. Hurricanes and earthquakes will happen somewhere in the world, and human suffering will always be the bread and butter of the media. Nothing changes except for the particular examples of these themes. I thought that I had managed to isolate myself successfully and I was happier than I have ever been. My writing was flowing naturally, and I was full of positive energy.
    I need to get back to that place. The realization hit me when I remembered that today is the day when people politicize tragedy to promote their agendas of hate and war. My instinct is to ignore these subliminal attempts to hijack my mind, and that is what made me think about the other things mentioned above. My broken walls need serious repair. I am leaving the TV OFF today and will try to keep that going for the next several days. No amount of information overload will change the shitstorm around me, and I know that it does nothing more than distracting me from my own life and make me exhausted.

    I deserve better than this. I am going to rededicate myself to my life, and Hal and The Stooges. Only then will I feel better and enjoy my life as I should. There is plenty of stuff in my daily life to keep me occupied and happy forever. I just have to make the conscious decision to focus on those things and not worry about things that I cannot control.

08 September 2017

Dreamer’s World September 07, 2017 – Instilling Calm

    With the world in endless crisis mode, it's hard to find the calm and inner peace that I need. Whether it is a NAZI in the White House, nuclear weapons in North Korea, or hurricanes devastating coastlines, sometimes it just seems to be too much to process for any individual. At times like this, the TV stays OFF, and I restrict the amount of information that I allow myself to process.
The anger at the political situation, the unease over the nuclear issue, and the sadness and concern for the people affected by the hurricanes can overwhelm us at times. It sounds cold and harsh, but we have to decide to stop listening and watching for awhile. Personally, I need an environment where I can relax and NOT think about those things for a period. No amount of concern from me will change any of those situations instantly, to let them consume me is illogical and dangerous, because it affects my judgment in my everyday life.
I want to get outside and take a nice long walk to get away from the issues. I want to write about something other than how I try to get away from the issues; I want to purge these matters from my mind. I have things that I need to focus on here and now. I have work to keep me occupied for the day. I have Hal and The Stooges to think about after that. I have the upcoming weekend to discover.

I know that emotionally it's hard to let things go. It requires concentration and effort. Our human nature wants to see things and collect information, but we overload far too easily, and then our attention is worthless.

07 September 2017

Dreamer’s World September 06, 2017 – Back To The Normal Work Routine

    I knew that this day would arrive. I had to get up early to start work once again. The only thing that makes this different from a regular working Wednesday is that I am not traveling to the client’s office this morning. I have earned enough cache’ to be able to skip a week now and then without having any lasting repercussions. Honestly, I just didn’t want to get out into the traffic with rain falling to make the trip. I will be making that trip next Wednesday anyway.
    I feel refreshed after my time away from work. In hindsight, it was best that we didn’t plan anything for the time off because that always turns into a hassle and leaves me more tired than when vacation starts. I did what I needed to do, and I got more rest over the last five days, and that is what I needed. All I have to do now is endure this short week, and then I can recharge again over the weekend.

    I have been following the news through my usual alternate channels over the last few weeks. I remain disappointed with the NAZI in the White House, but not surprised. With the hurricanes and North Korea, it is enough to make one want just to give up, but I remain convinced that we can do better once the NAZI is gone. I feel terrible for the people who have been affected by the hurricane in Texas, and for those who are being affected by Irma. Hearing and seeing things like that make me glad that I have never wanted to live anywhere like Texas or Florida. I have on desire to live at or near the ocean, especially in areas that are susceptible to hurricanes. I hope that somehow, Irma swerves away from land and misses everyone. I know that this is na├»ve, but I don’t want to see anyone harmed or killed. Stay safe if you are in the path of this storm.

05 September 2017

Dreamer’s World September 05, 2017 – Last Day of My Staycation

    Today marks the last day of my “staycation.” I am sad to think that I must go back to work tomorrow morning, but at the same time, I find myself wondering where the time went over the last several days. I guess that I regretted not doing more when I had the chance, but I needed the extra rest that I got over that time. I am thinking about any last-minute things to do on this last day away from work. I don’t know that anything will happen, I will just let things play themselves out.
    I know that I needed the break from everything. My writing took a hit since I deliberately wanted to get out of my routine. One thing that I have already decided is that I will not travel tomorrow morning to the clients’ offices. I go there almost every single week, and I do deserve a break from that to catch up on things in the morning. I will send them an email tomorrow morning informing them of my decision and letting them know that I will see them next week.
    The only real downside to the staycation was that Hal still had to work. We made time for each other regardless, and I would not change the time we had together at all. I enjoyed sleeping in late and not having to stress about other people on the job. I needed that break from things to clear my mind and to restore my sanity.
    I have been careful to monitor how much I let the outside world intrude over the last few days. The latest round of chaos wasn’t affected by my lack of attention; I am sure of that.

    And so, as I listen to some Jazz this morning, I am mentally preparing myself for the end of staycation. I will make sure to arrange another staycation soon.

30 August 2017

Dreamer’s World August 30, 2017 – My Latest Attempt To Get Back To Writing Daily

    This post marks the latest attempt to get back into the daily writing routine. All of the excuses, all of the rationalization about why I could not get this done are no longer valid. I will force myself to begin the routine over again because I am irritable with my lack of results. I need to write, I want to write, and the only way to make things better is to write.
    I suppose that today’s picture sums up how I feel. Happiness is someone who listens to you. Of course, that only works when you say something. Silence usually does not get results until it is far too late. I can post all of the stories and news articles that I want, but they won't help me with my problem until I decide to do something to fix it myself. I am guilty of letting valid reasons for not writing become a series of daily excuses, and I loathe myself for it. My soul will not find rest until I get these things off of my chest, and the best way to find release is to write. I don’t have to cover the issues that got in my way; they aren’t important except for stopping me from writing.
    Leave it to Snoopy and the Gang to make me pause and reflect on my situation. I randomly rotate the cards daily, and then I make the picture. Today, Snoopy and the Gang spoke directly to me with their simple message of Happiness. I almost felt chills when I saw the picture because it made me recognize how much I had neglected my writing. Whatever else is going on will still; be going on after I write for a little while. No life or death issue took me away from writing; it was laziness and nothing more.

    I suppose that we all need encouragement from time to time. I want to thank Snoopy and the Gang for providing it to me.


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