09 December 2014

Why do we let things wear us down?

     I came home from work today, just like every other weekday. Hal asked me how my day went and I proceeded to inundate him with small details and stuff that has absolutely no bearing on our relationship. I was listening to myself talk and wishing that I would stop, but I could not until I was finished. I don’t know if Hal saw the inner struggle reflected in my face, but I realized that I felt awful for telling him about all the things that I cannot control s if I expected him to have any more influence over them than I do. That was terribly unfair to Hal, and I realized that it was a daily routine. Hal always listens to me when I vent about things, and he always supports me, but I feel awful about using him as a sounding board for things.
     I retreated to another room and started trying to think about what I can do differently. As I looked around my desk, I saw this old holiday ornament and it started me thinking. Why do I feel so down at times? What 
makes things seem so awful?
    I have worked at many jobs and they all have times that they really suck. It is something that is unavoidable. The important part is how I choose to deal with these temporary issues. Complaining about them doesn't do any good, I know this from experience. Dumping all of this on Hal is not fair. Hal didn't cause things to go wrong at work, he doesn't deserve to hear all the negative BS.
     I have been at points in my life that are so much worse than the things I face today. I have always come through and not only survived, but prospered. This is no different. Whatever happens, I will overcome it and keep moving forward.
     I am incredibly lucky. Hal is the best thing that I have ever had in my life and I will not do anything to take him for granted or drive him away. I have to deal with the negative things without making them his problems as well. Hal has been admirable as a sounding board, but he deserves better than that.
    I am making myself this promise. Whatever happens at work, stays at work. The time for worrying about the small stuff is over. From now on, I will do my very best to focus on Hal and myself FIRST. I will do this because TOGETHER we have already proven that we are unstoppable!