15 November 2016

Dreamer's World November 14 2016 - The Impending Holiday

I start this Monday morning with a sense of anticipation. There are so many things that have to be done before Thanksgiving arrives in less than 2 weeks. First and foremost will be the holiday itself. As of right now, Hal (person) and I are in a holding pattern about plans for the day. It is possible that we will go to Glen Burnie to be with Nicola and the kids, but that depends on whether or not Nicola decides to actually go to Philly to spend the time with Don’s parents. Since that is her decision to make, we have to wait a little longer to hear what is going on.
It is also possible that Hal (person) might travel to spend the holiday with his own relatives. That is also up in the air right now since he hasn’t heard anything definite. He says that he won’t wait much longer to make his own decision, but I will give him the time he needs and will not pressure him. He is very fortunate to have a large family that would want him to be present with them at this time of the year.
I have no family to visit, at least none that are that close to me emotionally or physically. Therefore, I am always prepared to spend Thanksgiving on my own if need be. It might sound sad, but since my parents died, there really hasn’t been an alternative and I have never been that depressed over the holidays. If there had been a falling out in the past, then the traditional guilt would probably move me to try to make amends, but that has never been the case, I have just never had a close extended family to lean on.
And so, the waiting game is on. I will always have my backup plan for spending the day here with The Stooges because they don’t deserve to be left alone for no reason for more than a few hours. If Hal (person) goes out of town, and Nicola also goes away for Thanksgiving, I will spend the day here with The Stooges and we will all get along just fine.
I have to consider when to make my final decision. I think that by the end of this week that I will have to make my own plans, regardless of what the others might be doing. I don’t consider it fair to keep people waiting too long but I also am not the type to “invite” myself to Glen Burnie, nor am I the type to pressure Hal into getting a decision from his family. I suppose that this is the only real example of being alone at this time of the year in the sense that I dislike waiting for others to announce their plans to me. On the other hand, it isn’t like I have such attractive options that I can easily dismiss the opportunity to be with friends either. When I have told others about this situation, they look at me and usually say “I’m so sorry that things are like that for you”. As I noted earlier I don’t need sympathy, but I do appreciate the concern. I am who I am, and my life is my life. My pride is something that sustains me. I will never beg to be included in anyone else’s plans for the holiday because I understand how special the time is for them, and I am not their primary consideration, nor should I be.
That is the extent of the holiday planning so far. Nothing to really get excited about but it does help to keep up-to-date on things rather than get blind sided at the last minute. Until the end of this week, things will remain undecided around here.
As for the apartment search, it is going along nicely. We have narrowed our choices down considerably and still have plenty of time before we have to make a final decision in the spring. Hal (person) is monitoring the favorite places online to see how their rents are fluctuating, and that will give us a good idea as spring approaches as well.
The afternoon meeting ran for nearly 4 hours today. I thought I was going to fall asleep several times, but I managed to stay awake through them. It did make for some exciting moments when I realized that my head was about to impact my desk a few times.

As I complete the day at work, I am already thinking about items that we need from the grocery store. I plan to go there immediately after work and get back home as soon as possible. Tomorrow is already shaping up to be a very busy day as everyone tries to accelerate things in order to have down time as Thanksgiving approaches.