Writing is both a blessing and a curse. it seems that whenever I have an idea that I really want to write about, there is no time. And when I have the time I cannot think of anything that I want to write about. Today is a perfect example.
I was less busy than usual at the office due to the wintry weather in the DC area and the resulting absence of so many people that I normally synergize with on various projects. And yet, the words just would not come out in any way that I was happy with. My thoughts were too scattered, and no amount of effort was going to coalesce things into a single stream. I was too frustrated to realize that this was my actual topic. Here, at home in the evening, I am able to see this much more clearly and get back to writing. As I have already had my dinner and have some Bowie playing in the background, things are so much more in focus for me.
Writing is a true joy to me. I cannot describe the feeling that I get from putting my thoughts down and then realize that I actually enjoy reading them back to myself. This has to be one of the greatest highs in the world, perhaps that is why it is so hard to capture on demand. There are times when this feeling just cannot be coerced into being regardless of my best efforts. Fortunately, I am feeling the sensation right now and I don't want to let it go. I always have to fight the temptation to stray away from my subject as my mind embraces the joy of writing. I have to temper my enthusiasm to some degree in order to stay coherent since I am my own worst critic when it comes to what I write.
I find myself rushing through what should be a pursuit without a time limit attached to it. Perhaps this is one of the real struggles that I need to overcome in order to become a better writer. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter how long it takes me to complete a blog entry, as long as I am happy with it when I do finish. The idea that the quality of writing is more important than the quality remains important to me, but at the same time, it also remains elusive.
Music always seems to help me get into the writing mood. I don't know where I would be without music in my life. I am always listening to something, either an old favorite or something that I have not heard before and I enjoy the feeling of uncovering a new musical treasure. I have tried writing about music, but that never seems to work out because it is such a deeply personal experience it becomes impossible to put it into words. I just let my mind relax and adapt to the soothing sounds.
At any rate, I think that it is time to close this blog entry. Writing is both a blessing and a curse. Either way, it is something that I am addicted to, and I love it!