12 June 2015

Dreamer's World June 12 2015


Friday is here at last! I am glad to have reached the end of this week, and am looking forward to the weekend. today also marks the start of an effort that I have been building up to for some time, and that is my desire to stop smoking. Today I had a cigarette after waking up, and my mission is to NOT have another cigarette for the rest of the day.
If i can make it through until bedtime this evening, I should be well on the way to finally kicking the habit that has controlled me throughout my adult life. I am tired of the money that I spend on cigarettes, I am tired of fighting off the colds that seem to linger, I am tired of always having to excuse myself when around friends to go outside and smoke.
What is done is done. I can only attempt to better myself as I move forward. I have been wrestling with this decision, debating a day to begin the full effort, and most of all, to put this decision down in writing. There is a part of me that is so afraid that I will not be able to follow through on this, I will do my very best to succeed.
This will probably involve some short temper episodes, which is another reason I decided to start this effort on a Friday morning. If I can get through today, I can then refocus my efforts on tomorrow and then Sunday. From what I have read, if I make it that far, the worst will be over as far as the cravings are concerned and I should be able to maintain my decision with the only problem being temptation. Since none of my friends smoke any longer, I don’t think that this will be a problem.
Therefore, as of right now, I am taking the remaining cigarettes and lighter and ashtray to the dumpster and disposing of them. As of 0730, the cigarettes, lighters and ashtrays are all gone. Since I have never smoked in the apartment, there is no lingering odor for me to deal with. I still have some electronic cigarettes and i hope to dispose of them within a few days as well.
This is a huge step for me. I am looking forward to meeting and conquering the challenge. I want to kick the habit once and for all.
As 0900 rolls around, I am feeling fine. Actually, the lack of any real tasking is just making this morning truly drag along.
1200 is here and I am beginning to feel the first urges that I need a cigarette. Having already sipped of them this morning, I am going to fight my way through this one hour at a time. First thing will be to make it to the 1230 conference call. That will bore me out of my mind for approximately 30 minutes.
After a complete day at work. I made it through without another cigarette. Hal and I want into DC to meet up with a friend to celebrate this birthday and we finally got home after 2200. I still have not had the uncontrollable urge to smoke although I did take a few puffs on the ecig earlier.
I count this day as a success on the effort to stop smoking!