17 April 2015

Dreamer's World April 17 2015 - Unexpected Response

After my recent post about people who renounce friendship, I received a lot of feedback from my existing friends. It felt good to know that some of the things I write are not in vain.
Some of the responses were hilarious, asking if they were the person I had referred to. Obviously, this was not the case for them. I have not, and never will, reveal the name of the person that prompted the posts in my blog. That isn’t my style, but I did feel the need to write about it because it had happened to me, and that made it important to me. The high road is sometimes hard to get to, but worth it once you make it there to continue your journey through life.
The interesting thing was the response from my friends, as I started to say. It has been 100% supportive and that means a lot to me. I never take friends for granted, and I realize that some people like to be in touch more than others. The variety of people makes things worthwhile to me. Apparently, I didn’t measure up to what the person in question defined as friendship, and that is OK with me. I learned a long time ago that there are people that enter our lives for a short time and then move on and vanish from our lives. Just a part of life for me.
I wish them the very best as they continue on. There are no hard feelings from me. Misunderstandings happen to the best of us, but sometimes words said cannot be undone or forgotten. I suppose that if I have a breaking point, it is when someone chooses to use the phrase “no longer friends”. That is a definitive statement to me that signifies it is no longer worth taking the time or effort to correct whatever they see as being wrong. Perhaps some of that misunderstanding was my fault, if so I accept that responsibility, but I will never attempt to maintain friendship after the “no longer friends” statement is issued.
All of these feelings are a normal (for me) reaction to things that happened. I accept the fact that I have been excluded from someone else’s life without qualms or regrets. At that point in time, my responsibility becomes myself and the friends that I already have, in addition to the new friends I will make as life goes on. Like coming to a fork in the road and having to make a decision on which way to go, I never see any advantage to going back where I have already been.
I want to thank everyone who has offered support (always welcome) and those who have voiced their continued friendship. The offers of support are tremendously inspiring, and in a way, have served to strengthen the bonds that are already there with those people. I have a hard time cutting off a friendship, but I understand that there are those who do not. The hardest lesson I had to learn years ago was that I cannot do anything to change someone else’s mind and to let them go. I realized that I actually came to despise myself for feeling so weak that I would try to correct all the wrongs (real and imagined). This was not a healthy way to live, so I consciously changed my behavior in circumstances like this as a result. This is not the first time that I have had to apply the cold logical analysis to a situation like this. It does get easier to let things go after the first time.
In closing, thanks for the support. I am doing fine. I wish them well in their future. I have made the choice to be happy in my own future.