Dreamer’s World August 11 2015 - Train Wreck In Progress

Sometimes the simplest of things can turn terribly complicated in the blink of an eye. Regardless, we keep on going and try to make the best of a bad situation that started out so well. It only adds to the trouble when these train wrecks can be seen in the distance. The only thing we can do is try to muddle through and resolve to not make the same mistake the next time.
Hal’s birthday is this week. On Saturday there will be a small dinner gathering at a local restaurant to celebrate. This is the normal, no-problem event that Hal agreed to. This is also the point from which things begin to deteriorate. The “organizer” of this event is the same “friend” who has demonstrated selfishness and tried to manipulate us in the past.
To backtrack for a minute, I had planned for Hal and I to have a nice private celebration for his birthday. Nothing fancy, just a quiet dinner together at one of our favorite places. Hal was in agreement with this.
Within the last 48 hours, the friend announced that he was going to get people together to celebrate Hal’s birthday. This was in direct contrast to what Hal had said that he wanted, but that didn’t stop the friend from plunging ahead and then notifying Hal and myself about these plans. I left the decision to Hal because this will be for his birthday, and he decided to go to the gathering this Saturday with the understanding that “this is the LAST time” for something like this.
Basically, there are too many people involved, and there are always the issues of someone not wanting to interact with someone else. Think back to high-school cliques and you get the idea. It is an accurate description because the mentality of some of these people is about the same as a high-schooler. Hal was originally told that this was going to be something small, but it has ballooned out of control. This is the problem for the friend to deal with, but it has already put a damper on Hal’s outlook.
Honestly, I think that Hal is hesitant to just tell him to cancel things because Hal is not one who seeks out confrontation. I stand with Hal because it is his decision, and he is the man I love after all. I will say that if this hassle was surrounding my birthday, then the rest of the people would be told to pack sand and forget about it.
It troubles me to see Hal even slightly upset with all of this. I will be extremely vigilant on Saturday and at the first sign of discord, I will open up such a can of abuse on the group that they will never forget it. Hal doesn’t deserve this. The “party” is mainly for the benefit of the manipulating “friend”more than anyone else. I will be watching him especially closely.
Honestly, the most difficult part for me will be not saying anything to accelerate any conflict. I really hope that this event does go off smoothly, and that my concerns will have been for nothing. Until that has happened, I fear that I am watching a train wreck approaching with no means of stopping it.