04 November 2015

Dreamer’s World November 4 2015 - Time For Some Reality In My Life







Social media can be a wonderful thing. I use it to write, obviously, and to stay in touch with friends old and new. Occasionally, I have to step back and re-evaluate my involvement with things, and now is one of those time frames. It often can be rather painful and frustrating to determine what steps to take, but that doesn’t negate the need to do so.
Now is the particularly relevant time to do this because it is the 1-year anniversary of when I finally returned to FaceBook after an absence of many years. While this time has been more successful and enjoyable, it has not been without its own difficulties. I used FaceBook to attempt to reconnect with some people I grew up with. We haven’t spoken in many years and I cannot say that I expected much. With a few notable exceptions, I have been proven right. As I look at the list of “friends” I have I always recognize that this is not really a truly descriptive term. “Friends” on FB indicates nothing more than someone who you are following and who followed you back. There is no true indicator of how much interaction there is between you, if any at all. When you have to struggle to remember any interaction, I know now that it is time to cut the ties and move on. When someone has been on my list for approximately 1 year and has yet to have any direct contact or online interaction with me, there is no loss at all.
This is not rocket science. One example of what used to really upset me came when I actually did speak to a friend I grew up with. I mentioned our time together in elementary school. I remember names and faces, he didn’t. After a few minutes, he actually said that he did not remember me at all and that he was going to have to dig out his yearbook because he felt uncomfortable talking to someone who remembered him but he honestly “had no idea who you are”. That person left the list immediately. My life has taken me far from my hometown, I never claimed to have made a tremendous impression there, but to be completely forgotten is not something I need from anyone. That simply indicates to me that it is time to move on from that person and not look back.

This is also the anniversary of losing one of my best friends. This keeps FB in its proper perspective for me. Alleged friends are quite useless when you think about it. No amount of online interaction can replace talking face to face or actually talking on the phone. I miss my friend dearly, nothing can ever bring him back, but I cannot and will not attempt to create a relationship with anyone else who doesn't value actual, as opposed to virtual contact.
As I grow older, and hopefully, wiser I realize that friends should never be taken for granted. Never put off talking with or visiting someone because it might inconvenience you. When a true friend is gone, your heart will ache beyond repair. When a FB contact doesn't respond just delete them and move on. A small number of true friends trumps an infinite number of social media contacts every time.