Dreamer's World February 24 2015 - Inspiration at Walmart

     

Today seemed like one of those days without any inspiration for a topic. I muddled through the day at the office and left on time this afternoon. As always, on the way home I called Hal to see if he/we needed to go anywhere. I was rather surprised when he said he needed to go to Walmart.

I have not shopped at Walmart in many years. I find their business practices reprehensible and I refuse to shop anywhere that doesn't pay a living wage to its employees. Since I had asked Hal about where he needed to go, I was on the hook to go to Walmart with him.

We got to the store and surprisingly were not accosted by the senior citizen greeter. Perhaps they wanted to stay away from the cold air that flowed through the open doors as the sheep hurried into the abattoir. The first sight that greeted me was the return line, where people were waiting forever to return the crap that they had foolishly bought from Walmart in the first place, only to discover that it was indeed nothing but crap.

   We made our way past that throng of suffering humanity and Hal went to look for a coffee maker, or whatever brought him to this place. I decided to wander through the store rather than wait outside in the cold. Almost immediately I observed several other phenomenon peculiar to Walmart. First was the lack of anyone that resembled a normal human being. THe people in Walmart looked as if they weighed 300+ pounds or were on a cocaine diet. If you ever want to see the motorized shopping carts being abused, go to Walmart and watch some 400+ pound heffer riding one. You can almost see smoke coming from the poor little engine that was never designed to carry such a huge load.

   The next phenomenon was the dead stop. These obese people seem to collectively stop in the middle of aisles whenever something shiny catches their eye. I guess that there is not that much excitement in the trailer parks, because the slightest thing causes mass paralysis and results in no one being able to get anywhere in the store. Once the amazement at whatever these slack-jawed people were staring at wears off, then you can actually move again. This meant that the distance I could have covered in no more than 10 minutes took nearly 30 minutes.

I finally made my way to the front of the store. I saw Hal there struggling with the tide of human refuse in the checkout line that was clearly designated as 15 items or less. Illiteracy is a tragedy, especially when it comes to checkout lines. At this point I signaled to Hal that I was going to wait for him outside. I made my way out of the store, hindered all the way be fat people who could not be walked around as they clogged the doorways. Once outside, I took a deep breath, relaxed, and lit a cigarette as I waited for Hal to emerge. I remember vividly why I never shop at Walmart.